Captain Shakespeare
Look into the mirror
How beautiful you are
A glow shines in your eyes just like a real star
Are you ready
Here we go
So that you know
You are the one
Lalala lalalala lalalala lalalala
Captain Shakespeare you are on stage in five minutes
Time to get ready
No matter what the others think of you
Just be who you want to be
Fuck it all
They are trapped in their world
Let go of them
Do what you do
Simply do it right now
Colorful light hits the floor of the hall
Be tough to be someone else, you’ve got the balls
Curtain up
They called your name
So that you know
You are the one
Lalala lalalala lalalala lalalala
Arrrrr everyone
Please join me and welcome Captaaaaaaaaiin Shakespeeeeeaare
No matter what the others think of you
Just be who you want to be
Fuck it all
They are trapped in their world
Let go of them
Do what you do
Simply do it right now
Wiping Your Butt With A Hook Ain’t That Easy
One day I lost my right hand on the high sea
From then on I’ve had a hook on my hand
At first I didn’t want to believe it
Then I got to know the benefits
Who needs a knife when you have a hook
It’s simple as that caus‘ I wanna cook
But what if I am going to hit the head
In the end my ass is glowing red
Wiping your butt with a hook ain’t that easy
Yes, I still have one hand but it has to hold the rum
Wiping your butt with a hook ain’t that easy
But I’m not giving up and will kill the dark lord
My metal crosses the sabers for treasure.
Sharp as a razor
A lovely way to die
A small piece of iron beats anything
It helps you to become a pirate king
Hey, there are many things to keep in mind
On the heavy sea when there’s treasure to find
You never thought it could be hard to clean your butt
But it’s really true, yes, you are fucked
Wiping your butt with a hook ain’t that easy
Yes, I still have one hand but it has to hold the rum
Wiping your butt with a hook ain’t that easy
But I’m not giving up and will kill the dark lord
Powdermonkey
Now listen, I’ll tell you about the days I saw something really weird
I don’t know if I should say it our captain didn’t have a beard
Don’t take me crazy but I saw him in a dress on heels that night
He wore a wig and danced below decks in front of the candlelight
Believe me, that wasn’t easy for me to understand. I thought I saw a ghost
He was talking to himself and pacing his bunk while training for a pose
Don’t take me for a fool, it seemed he was acting like a l-l-lady
He brushed his hair, lined his lips, and called himself „Katie“
Do you know what I say
I saw it today
Is the captain gay
I know it
We know it
What the hell is going on here
Come off it
Can’t we stop it now
By day he is a cold-blooded pirate
By night he becomes a princes in pink
Yes, he is a Powdermonkey either way
Now you know the captain’s secret
A lot has changed on our ship
We don’t care about it anyway on our daily duty on this trip
There was something good about it too
We all got braver and we fight
Now the captain will no longer dance alone in the candlelight
It’s really what I say
I see it everyday
And it is okay
I know it
We know it
What the hell is going on here
Come off it
Can’t we stop it now
By day he is a cold-blooded pirate
By night he becomes a princes in pink
Yes, he is a Powdermonkey either way
Knock Knock
One night I got belly cramps
It was probably because of the cabbage soup I ate
What do you do when your stomach is bubbling, I fart
Now you could say, what’s so special about it
You won’t believe what I’m going to tell you
Come on man get out of town
Later it was knocking on my door
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw
He was an alien
He came from far away on my ship
He said I called him so very loudly that night
He was an alien
He came from far away under my deck
He said he would come back if I called him again
With my fart?
Then we saw each other every night
He was interested in my cabbage soup I ate
It was no problem to share the soup with him, I did it
Now you know what’s so special about it
No shit
He has become a good loyal friend to me
Don’t you trust me
Go to hell
Again it was knocking on my door
He smiles at me and calls for more
He was an alien
He came from far away on my ship
He said I called him so very loudly that night
He was an alien
He came from far away under my deck
He said he would come back if I called him again
With my fart?
My time is running out, our ways are going to part
I enjoyed the long life with my cabbage soup friend
One night he stood by my deathbed and held my hand
He looked deep into my eyes and whispered in my ear
Come with me my friend I take you to my world
Just give me your hand, trust me now
I froze, an icy chill took possession of me
I became one of them.
Now!
I am an alien
I came from far away on your ship
Yes you called me so very loudly that night
I am an alien
I came from far away under your deck
Forever I will come back if you call me again
With your fart
Desinfection Is My Satisfaction
Sometimes I’m different, do you know the feeling too
I sort clothes by color, what should I do, it’s true
I go crazy when I see the toilet paper hanging upside down
Something controls my head and then I have to turn it around
Desinfection is my satisfaction
The voices in my head are stronger than me
Desinfection is my satisfaction
I can’t stop it, that’s the way it has to be
I don’t touch anything when it’s been touched by you
I tend to control things more than I have to
Always I say certain numbers to keep bad luck away
Yes I am different I know it, and that day after day
Desinfection is my satisfaction
The voices in my head are stronger than me
Desinfection is my satisfaction
I can’t stop it, that’s the way it has to be
Desinfection
My Satisfaction
Stronger than me
Desinfection
My Satisfaction
That’s the way it has to be
Desinfection is my satisfaction
The voices in my head are stronger than me
Desinfection is my satisfaction
I can’t stop it, that’s the way it has to be
Kiss Of The Gauntlet
What do you want from me
You don’t like what I do
Then get out of my sight
I have more important things to do
You are a pain in the ass
That means only you
My patience is beginning to wear thin
You want to choose the path to war
My gauntlet’s kiss, it’s calling for more
Can’t you see you’re in my way
Finally forgive yourself or I have no other choice
I am really going to smack your face
It’s getting outta control
Don’t you wanna understand
I don’t know where this is going to lead
You’re about to choose the path to war
My gauntlet’s kiss, it’s calling for more
For more
I can give you more
The kiss of the gauntlet knocks you to the floor
For more
For more
This is what I swore
The kiss of the gauntlet
Cry for war
Don’t you ever mess with me
I’m not to be tampered with
You’re going to learn your lesson from me and you’ll get the shock of your life
There is no chance anymore
You have to face me now
Get ready ‚cause the time has come
You have chosen the path to war
For more
I can give you more
The kiss of the gauntlet knocks you to the floor
For more
For more
This is what I swore
The kiss of the gauntlet
Cry for war
This Is My Orange Table
Guys, you gotta hold on now
We’re currently in an extremely dire situation at this time
Mercury is in retrograde and that means a lot of stress for all of us pirates here on earth
I’m speechless when an angel sends me greetings and my soul astrally crosses the lightcrystal town
My shaman forces me to meet my energy balance for the new intelligence of the conscious mind
A storm is coming up
Do you feel afraid
I can summon two arch angels to keep you from any harm
Tell me what you took today, I also want to go this way
The sun shines out of your ass, no hitch, no worries and no stress
I admire you like a king, you awaken a spiritual spring
I put my saber down for you, ‚cause it’s my orange table too
You need to refine your inner gold first then you can hold the outer gold so you can finally be pure
I see your aura collapsing
Take this golden amulet your chakras will blossom once more
I’m not a pirate for real
I was born a unicorn
Messenger of the trinity living among the pirate crew
Tell me what you took today, I also want to go this way
The sun shines out of your ass, no hitch, no worries and no stress
I admire you like a king, you awaken a spiritual spring
I put my saber down for you, ‚cause it’s my orange table too
Stinky Dave
He comes from the hidden caves and nobody knows exactly what he is
Wherever he comes he brings disaster and doom
He strikes when you don’t expect him
He attacks at the moment of happiness
He’s so fast, you don’t know what’s happening to you
He has many names
You know him for sure
But you just look away
Don’t want it to be true
I’ve got tripper and chlamydia
A better name is Stinky Dave
I’m plagued by scabies and hepatitis
Oh it itches like hell, yeah!
Molluscum warts a friend of my neighbors, lice come in and out of my house
Chancroid is a well known face
What can I say, it’s Stinky Dave
It’s Stinky, Stinky, Stinky Dave
Now you know who I’m talking about
So take care, he’s sneaky and mean
Often he is one step ahead of you
You can try to evade him but you are going to fail in the end
Fuck a duck
If he catches you, it doesn’t matter, bad for you
Don’t you be ashamed
It’s always the same
You try to run away
Don’t want it to be true
I’ve got tripper and chlamydia
A better name is Stinky Dave
I’m plagued by scabies and hepatitis
Oh it itches like hell, yeah!
Molluscum warts a friend of my neighbors, lice come in and out of my house
Chancroid is a well known face
What can I say, it’s Stinky Dave
It’s Stinky, Stinky, Stinky Dave
I try to fight him
Soap is my hero
I swap, swap, swap
Nothing helps he gets me wherever I try to hide from him.
You should just stop doing it
That’s easy to say
You know what, I don’t give a fuck
Cause
I’ve got tripper and chlamydia
A better name is Stinky Dave
I’m plagued by scabies and hepatitis
Oh it itches like hell, yeah!
Molluscum warts a friend of my neighbors, lice come in and out of my house
Chancroid is a well known face
What can I say, it’s Stinky Dave
It’s Stinky, Stinky, Stinky Dave
The Ferguson
Now the time has come to make some changes.
The smell stings one’s nose in summer.
It’s that toilet on my ship stinking to high heaven
I went to see a specialist and told him
Make it disappear, make it go away, I can’t stand it
Here we go, move your ass, show what you’ve got for me
Buy the unique Ferguson
Sit down and give me your best shot
Hurry up, I really have to take a shit now
I can’t stop it, so you better let me go my way
Do you think I can wait, no good idea
What’s the point of this, I can’t stay no longer here
I hope that you are right or you will walk the plank
Go ahead, tell me why I came to you today
Only use the Ferguson
The sound is unforgettable
She is called the queen of the toilet bowls everywhere
Today’s toilets don’t even deserve the name. Not the Ferguson
You sit on the dunny seat like a mighty king on a throne
And when you flush, you don’t need a brush
You are right, the Stradivarius of the loo
I can play it like a violin
Yes, I buy it, she’s the perfect bucket for my ass
And it won’t stink anymore on my ship
Lost for words – talking about an orgasm for the ass
Words fail me, I recommend it, I’ve never shit so well
It only comes in white
Even with light on the inside
She is called the queen of the toilet bowls everywhere
Today’s toilets don’t even deserve the name. Not the Ferguson
You sit on the dunny seat like a mighty king on a throne
And when you flush, you don’t need a brush
Ready To Know
Now that I’m nearly dead
My senses in need turn around
Bed of stone becomes real
Before I get burnt
Now that I’ve cried rivers and seas
My forces drown into fear
Can I try a reckoning
Before I get embraced
I’ll be ready to know
I’ll be ready to know
I’ll be ready to know
I’m not ready to know
Wolves await
Shining teeth
Howling again
Worms are fed
Bones are red
I’m feeling no pain
Naked and skinned
Dead and deceived
Awaiting the light
Couldn’t help me understand
Darkest night remains at end
I’ll be ready to know
I’ll be ready to know
I’ll be ready to know
I’m not ready to know
Now the time has come to say goodbye my friend
Some day we will meet at the place behind the sun
Recall what we have done in times past
Once more we sing that song again
I’ll be ready to know
I’ll be ready to know
I’ll be ready to know
I’m not ready to know
Wait enough to be in sight
And maybe you will see
There’s a slight chance that it’s real
But will you bet on these winds
Take your time
Don’t give up
Till your last drop of blood
If there’s nothing to retain
You’ll be ready to know
Before you understand
Leaving on a barbed wire
Diving on your own
It will let you go
Go